I need some help please, i hate my life?

ok, im 14 years old, and depressed. i got my heart broken about a year ago which affected me badly, and became depressed, cutting, and hospitalization. My nest friend in the whole world is homeless and is only 16. I feel lost and alone, i have a friends, but it seems like they are avoiding me. And their is this girl that is my best friend, but we're not talking as much, she said she woud talk to me at lunch today, but she didn't. I'm just going through a hard time, and school is to hard, and i started with tutoring today, and i hate it. And it feels like i need a girlfriend to be happy, because nothing else is working, point is, im depressed and don't know what to do, and im giving some detail. And i want to kill myself, but im to afraid to, can someone please help me/ understnd me? I don'tt kow where else to go to.